Off

Things have just been off lately. My mood is off, my mind is off. Periods of forgetfulness are just too frequent. In general, I am enjoying my somewhat lazy, unmotivated lifestyle. I wake up late, work part-time in the evenings, teach some voice lessons in the afternoons, have Fridays off so I always have a long weekend, am planning some concerts, singing in some weddings....it's really not bad. I wish life could stay like this! I wish I didn't need money, or want a life independent of my parents' home. But I do. And I know that continuing to live this lackadaisical life I enjoy won't get me there.

But it's pretty good for now...

Not even worth posting

I don't know how I manage to do so little in one day. It's 3:30pm and I'm just getting my act together to go to the gym before Happy Hour tonight with Ben. AND the only thing that is motivating me to actually get up and go to the gym is the fact that Acme and my bank are on the way to the gym, and I somehow remembered (through my sloth and lack of motivation) that today is pay-day. That is how lazy I am. I can hardly remember that it's pay-day.

I'd like to continue fooling myself into believing I'm lazy because I've been sick and am recuperating. But that would just be a fallacy. I've been this way ever since I got home in August. HELP!

I <3 Thursdays

Thursdays are the new Fridays...well, maybe not. But Thursdays are the start of my weekend! I don't work on Thursdays or Fridays, so it's like a weekend to me! Well, except that now I have a voice student on Thursday afternoons, but that's not even like work. I LOVE TEACHING VOICE!! There, got that out of my system.

Yesterday, I taught my first voice student in a couple of years, and I forgot how much of a rush I get from helping youngsters find their voices! It's so exciting to see their eyes and smiles when they feel their bodies and voices produce something they've never experienced before!!! Now, these high schoolers all want to sing things that their voices are totally not ready for.....one girl is already preparing to perform a song from Ragtime for a cabaret in a couple weeks - I did NOT assign that to her, but since she's already scheduled to perform it, I am obligated to help her with it as best I can.

I really want to be teaching. More and more, I recognize the feeling I get from teaching doesn't even compare with my own performing.

Happy, tired....sick

I am sick. Not happy that I am, but it is kind of nice to feel so tired. I'm partially sure I'm sick because for the last month, I haven't been able to get tired enough to fall asleep before 2am. Sometimes later. So now, it's just 10pm and I'm exhausted, and I'm glad.

Experiment 1 - Success. I definitely feel good about leaving my computer ALONE at night. I promise, nothing exciting happens on FB late at night. I can go to sleep without thinking I will miss some hugely important post, or changing my status 16 times. This blog will help with status updates too...

In other news, today, I had the overwhelming feeling of contentment with living at home. Some days, I want nothing more than to have my own place with my own stuff. I even spent some time checking out Craigslist to see what kind of nifty furniture people were selling in the area. I found several FREE baby grand pianos. That's something I could get used to...also some cute vintage looking chairs and a really neat old desk. But then, after work, I came home at the same time as my brother and my parents.....and it was really nice to just go into the house together, chat about our days, prepare some late-night meal (since we all have such different schedules, it's impossible to have family dinners anymore). I love my family more than anything in life. Even though, after about 5 minutes of friendly family chit-chat, it turned into a complain-fest and annoyance from each others' idiosyncracies.... we all rock. I love us.

Experiment #1

The first real experiment I am putting to action tonight is - keeping my computer on my actual desk, and not keeping in on my bedside table, or on the floor next to my bed. This way, I can actually be in bed, attempting to sleep, without tempting myself with Facebook or other websites. It's a drastic move, I know. But I'm hoping that something this drastic will increase my chances of getting to bed, and not overstimulating my brain with things when I should be letting go and allowing myself to rest. We shall see how this experiment pans out.

In other news: Voice students! Yay! I am starting to build a studio of voice students. Right now, I have connections through Newark Academy, a private middle school and high school in my area.

Monday, Monday...

Alright, so I am actually pretty excited about the Blog, it seems. It's so pretty! I'm pretty proud of it. Not that it was difficult to create or anything... It's Monday, and I have already wasted the entire day. It all started when I woke up - at 1pm. No one knows how I let myself be so lazy. I had high hopes for the day, setting my alarm for 8am. But somehow, I completely ignored that alarm and did not surface until the afternoon hours.

It's funny, Ben called me soon after I woke up with the same story! Except that he just tossed and turned all night and only got 1 hour of sleep before he was supposed to get up for work and decided that it wouldn't be good to try and work. I don't have to be at work until 5pm, so my only excuse is that I'm living a seemingly purposeless life at the moment.

So, I'm listening to "This American Life," eating strawberries, picking up my room and going to the gym pretty soon. This weekend was super fun - Poconos with Ben, and then Jessica's bridal shower. I didn't have my camera at either event, so no pictures this time...

Do I want this blog?

I started keeping a real journal this summer, and was doing pretty well with it for a while. But now, it's been over a month since I recorded any of my thoughts/musings/concerns/wisecracks that way. I've been reading a whole lot of friends' blogs and have thought about starting one over the last couple of days. So.....here it is. I can't make any promises concerning the level of public amusement this will offer to any possible readers out there, but I am hoping to record some thoughts in this different way - a means of decompressing I have not yet attempted.

Today's thought:

My first September without being enrolled in some kind of academic setting is almost half way done. I'm having fun (basically meeting up with old friends for luncheons, city outings, Poconos weekends, etc.) so far, and am excited about current and potential job prospects. There are several nice things happening in the horizon, both musical and non-, and I'm glad to have the opportunity to be involved in friends' and family's life experiences that I've been missing out on over the last 6 years living far away.

This year, and this blog are inaugurated as such : The Life Experiment.