Perhaps I will continue my blog....after a long long hiatus. Yes, I feel the wind changing, and I need to write....coffee first.

Big List

I have a hard time keeping life goals straight in my mind. Here's a starting list of things I want to do in life, big and small:

Travel to Israel
Live a year abroad
Live in NYC
Teach high school choir and voice lessons
Learn guitar
Learn piano
Make a set of matching mugs, plates and bowls via pottery
Get my doctorate
Teach college choir and voice lessons
Set up my own community music school and hire all my friends to teach

Go places

I recently came across this quote and if it weren't so long, I'd want it tattooed on my arm.

"As you've probably noticed, I'm not an expert on the places I visit. I'm not an authority. I'm a visitor, a traveler, an enthusiast. Travel isn't always pretty. It isn't always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts. It even breaks your heart. But that's ok...the journey changes you. It should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you, and hopefully you leave something good behind. Where will I end up next, what's my next journey? Your guess is as good as mine."
-Anthony Bourdain

This reminds me how much my experiences have molded me, and that I'm not done with the journey by any means.

Off

Things have just been off lately. My mood is off, my mind is off. Periods of forgetfulness are just too frequent. In general, I am enjoying my somewhat lazy, unmotivated lifestyle. I wake up late, work part-time in the evenings, teach some voice lessons in the afternoons, have Fridays off so I always have a long weekend, am planning some concerts, singing in some weddings....it's really not bad. I wish life could stay like this! I wish I didn't need money, or want a life independent of my parents' home. But I do. And I know that continuing to live this lackadaisical life I enjoy won't get me there.

But it's pretty good for now...

Not even worth posting

I don't know how I manage to do so little in one day. It's 3:30pm and I'm just getting my act together to go to the gym before Happy Hour tonight with Ben. AND the only thing that is motivating me to actually get up and go to the gym is the fact that Acme and my bank are on the way to the gym, and I somehow remembered (through my sloth and lack of motivation) that today is pay-day. That is how lazy I am. I can hardly remember that it's pay-day.

I'd like to continue fooling myself into believing I'm lazy because I've been sick and am recuperating. But that would just be a fallacy. I've been this way ever since I got home in August. HELP!

I <3 Thursdays

Thursdays are the new Fridays...well, maybe not. But Thursdays are the start of my weekend! I don't work on Thursdays or Fridays, so it's like a weekend to me! Well, except that now I have a voice student on Thursday afternoons, but that's not even like work. I LOVE TEACHING VOICE!! There, got that out of my system.

Yesterday, I taught my first voice student in a couple of years, and I forgot how much of a rush I get from helping youngsters find their voices! It's so exciting to see their eyes and smiles when they feel their bodies and voices produce something they've never experienced before!!! Now, these high schoolers all want to sing things that their voices are totally not ready for.....one girl is already preparing to perform a song from Ragtime for a cabaret in a couple weeks - I did NOT assign that to her, but since she's already scheduled to perform it, I am obligated to help her with it as best I can.

I really want to be teaching. More and more, I recognize the feeling I get from teaching doesn't even compare with my own performing.

Happy, tired....sick

I am sick. Not happy that I am, but it is kind of nice to feel so tired. I'm partially sure I'm sick because for the last month, I haven't been able to get tired enough to fall asleep before 2am. Sometimes later. So now, it's just 10pm and I'm exhausted, and I'm glad.

Experiment 1 - Success. I definitely feel good about leaving my computer ALONE at night. I promise, nothing exciting happens on FB late at night. I can go to sleep without thinking I will miss some hugely important post, or changing my status 16 times. This blog will help with status updates too...

In other news, today, I had the overwhelming feeling of contentment with living at home. Some days, I want nothing more than to have my own place with my own stuff. I even spent some time checking out Craigslist to see what kind of nifty furniture people were selling in the area. I found several FREE baby grand pianos. That's something I could get used to...also some cute vintage looking chairs and a really neat old desk. But then, after work, I came home at the same time as my brother and my parents.....and it was really nice to just go into the house together, chat about our days, prepare some late-night meal (since we all have such different schedules, it's impossible to have family dinners anymore). I love my family more than anything in life. Even though, after about 5 minutes of friendly family chit-chat, it turned into a complain-fest and annoyance from each others' idiosyncracies.... we all rock. I love us.